I cried so hard I thought I’d die
for just a taste of something sweet
promised in his eyes.
The ache for what I hadn’t had
filled close to bursting
such pressure in my skin
leaked out in yearning
from beneath lashes
to end in salt upon my lips.
I’m sure you had a logical reason
for quietly leaving me behind,
a justifiable synopsis
that made drifting away effortless.
I was confused and hurt,
like a wild animal almost tame
but not quite.
You were my balloon outside the carnival gate,
all those years ago.
So,
what if I breathe in
then out
and drop the string I held too long for you?
There is pleasure in that,
in being weightless for a while.
Dearest,
We live in different worlds,
you in a brain
and I in a heart.
So,
this is how I say
Goodbye.
“It was for the best.”
I told myself
when I doubted again what I had done
to protect my heart.
I have become a master stone mason.
There must be pride in that.
Right?
“It was for the best.”
I know it wasn’t.
Isn’t. – Won’t ever be,
but where do I find the chisel
strong enough
to ruin it all?
What keeps me together
when fear bites the back of my neck,
sinking teeth to tendon and bone
until I feel the gnash of it,
’til the beast shakes me – snaps me,
and I fall apart
into pieces that submit to insanity.
You are my glue.
Maine Moon 